Channeling My Inner Professor

The professor came calling yesterday. The absent-minded guy, I mean.

While Cuppa was able to lounge in the hair salon for countless hours, poor AC was left with a zillion errands to run ? or three anyway.

The first was a stop at Shoppers to make off with some favorites Christmas goodies ? Turtles to be exact ? at almost half price, for the flyer declared that they would be on sale this weekend.

With flyer in hand I found the Turtles and wondered why the normal price remained posted on the rack. Ditto for the salty snacks. Nevertheless, I lovingly placed the items in my cart and headed to the checkout where I expressed my confusion to the nice lady — who looked at me rather pityingly before declaring that they wouldn’t go on sale until Saturday.

The light dawned. I looked up and mumbled something like, “Oh yes, this is Friday, isn’t it?”

She was too nice to accuse me of being stupid, but I’m could almost read her thoughts, — which I’d be advised not repeat here.

I stammered something about being confused because I had the day off, and it felt like Saturday. It did too. It does every week lately since the grands have been heading off to daycare, thus giving the old ones the day off. Apparently, I need to day off more than I thought.

When I described my faux pas to my beloved, we both decided that perhaps we should stop calling Thursday, Friday. Because we do. Because that’s what it feels like. But it isn’t.

But the absent-minded guy wasn’t yet finished with Old AC. Fortunately, however, I didn’t make my next goof so public.

It occurred at the grocery store (if I were American, I could just say grocery and omit the redundant word, store, but I’m Canadian, which by definition makes me redundant) …

… now where was I

… ah yes, in the grocery store. I was again at the checkout when I espied a jar of cashews in my cart — which weren’t supposed to be there. For I clearly remembered picking them up and gazing at them lovingly before deciding not to purchase them. And I clearly remembered putting them back on the shelf.

Apparently, I missed the shelf.

Given the state of this professor’s absent mind, I suppose the fact that I was left holding a jar of nuts is rather appropriate.

It’s really a pity, however, that if I must endure such professorial absent-mindedness, that I couldn’t otherwise enjoy the brainpower of such a fellow. Not to mention the income.

But no, the only thing that a professor and I might have in common is the absent-minded … ah … I forget what I was going to say.

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10 Responses to Channeling My Inner Professor

  1. QMM says:

    If it makes you feel any better absent-minded pro, HH and I never know which day it is. If there are plans for us to be somewhere I post a huge note on the bathroom mirror. For instance,
    “MASS WITH ELLEN AT CHURCH ON TUESDAY AT 8:30. DON’T FORGET!!!!!!!” Now that helps but I can’t even remember the Monday before or the Wednesday that comes after Tuesday.

  2. Jerry says:

    I am comforted by your plight. Far too often these days I will walk into the bedroom or open the refrigerator and stop and ask myself, ‘What am I looking for?’ And then I will type the simplest word and stare at it thinking ‘That doesn’t look right. Is it spelled that way?’

    I try to convince my wife it is because my mind is dedicated to loftier thoughts. She isn’t buying it.

  3. Mary says:

    AC, don’t feel too badly about being a little absent minded. This morning Jordan called and I asked him why he wasn’t in school. His reply, “GrandMA, it’s Saturday.” Mmm! So it is. LOL

    Enjoyed catching up with you a bit. It’s bitterly cold here today. Snow on the rooftops to the north but none on the ground. No sun though, so I expect that snow to stay. The odd flake is floating down and Dakota is trying to catch them when we are outside.
    Take care and stay warm.

  4. KGMom says:

    Hmm–I’m American and I always say grocery STORE. Maybe, it’s a residual effect from having had a Canadian grandfather.
    Being retired gets quick confusing, no? I sometimes have to say to myself–now this is…whatever day it is. Days do blur more than when I worked full-time. But I enjoy the blur.

  5. Ginnie says:

    The other day a good friend of mine complained that Mondays were always very depressing to him. I advised him to pretend that it was Tuesday !! But, after reading your entry, I may have done him a great disservice.

  6. Lorna says:

    I forgot what you said too.

  7. Mara says:

    What about being in the ‘supermarket’ and not knowing at all what you were needing, because you left the list on the fridge door. In the end you come away with one item that was on the list and seven that weren’t. Still leaving you without bread and milk!

    • AC says:

      I have also gone sans list, and even if I have one, I will still probably forget one item on it, and it’s also likely that I’ve forgotten to copy at least one item from the recipe (assuming I am doing a specific recipe).

  8. D3 says:

    Like father like daughter. Yesterday I spent five minutes at the ATM trying to put my bank card in the place where the receipt comes out.

  9. Pearl says:

    How ironic is it that this window has been open for some time and I forget it was there and forgot what anecdote from me I wanted to pair with yours.

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