As I begin this post I am wondering if it is possible for old news to be news. I mean to say, if you takes the new out of news, is it really news? Or is it just s? Curious minds want to know. Perhaps it’s news.
Regardless, a month or so ago (so it’s now just s or news and no longer news), I read this article in BBC News about the possible relationship between finger length and prostate cancer which reported that “A British Journal of Cancer study found men whose index finger is longer than their ring finger were significantly less likely to develop the disease.” Since dear old Dad eventually parted from this sphere as a result of this disease, and I have already had some issues in said nether region, I was curious to read on.
Perspicaciously, the article reported that the length of one’s fingers is predetermined before birth (well duh, dya think?) and relates to sex hormones in the womb (okay, that’s new info). Prostate cancer is connected to testosterone levels, so being exposed to less of it should reduce the likelihood of getting prostate cancer. Well then, researchers have found that some wombs have less testosterone than others, and it seems that guys who come from those wombs tend to have longer index fingers than those who gestate in wombs with more testosterone. Ergo (oh how I love to write ergo), a guy with a longer index finger is apparently less likely to develop prostate cancer.
I don’t know what to think about that. I mean to say that I’m rather fond of my testosterone and the implications of having it. And all indications are that I have my fair share. But it would be nice to be spared prostate cancer. What a dilemma for a randy old goat!
Regardless of my dilemma, a major deficiency in the article, soon sent my fingers scurrying, with whatever testosterone I might possess, into the salacious arms of Mistress Google to remind myself which finger was what, and I proudly display in the graphic to the right the results of said loving embrace. I have no idea why I didn’t already know which finger was what (or should it be what finger was which?) except that I seem to be suffering from early-onset of … oh … I forget …
“Um okay, remember AC: this is the index finger and that is the ring finger and look carefully at your fingers.” Actually, even though I don’t wear a ring, I knew that particular finger; it was just the index that I … I couldn’t quite put my … er, um … finger on.
But I digress.
Having assured myself of which finger is which (or what finger is what), the next thing to do was examine my hand.
As you can see, I then had a problem …
You see what it is, don’t you? The index finger is quite crooked. As such it appears to be somewhat shorter than my ring finger. But without the curve, would it be longer than the ring finger? It really is difficult to tell one way or ‘tother.
But I do have more to tell you about my fingers. Which I’m sure excites dear reader to no end.
(to be continued)