When I was taking pictures to honour his second birthday, I couldn’t exactly ignore her. Could I?
At one point, when we were both sitting at the table, I looked into her beautiful eyes and said, “I love you so much.” I don’t know what of that registers in the mind of someone who is not yet four, but that’s what I said.
Then I said, “I don’t suppose you’ll ever know how much I love you.” I was really expressing a thought out loud as it struck me, but I was also saying it to her, if you know what I mean.
It’s true, of course: true that I love her dearly and true that she’ll probably never know how much.
But maybe she will someday experience something like that when she’s a grandmother. Then, maybe it will dawn on her that someone may have felt the same way about her. And maybe that will warm her heart.
I can tell you this; it’s as if this kid grabbed me by the heartstrings as I rocked her in the middle of one night when she was only days old. I would have one-sided conversations with her and sing to her while her tiny head lay sleeping on my chest, just over my heart.
It’s hard to describe, but it’s as if she lay claim to my heart in those moments in the still of the night. It’s as if she said, “A big piece of that beating, pumping thing is mine, Buppa. Mine.”