When I was taking pictures to honour his second birthday, I couldn’t exactly ignore her. Could I?

Her Turn

At one point, when we were both sitting at the table, I looked into her beautiful eyes and said, “I love you so much.” I don’t know what of that registers in the mind of someone who is not yet four, but that’s what I said.

Her Turn

Then I said, “I don’t suppose you’ll ever know how much I love you.” I was really expressing a thought out loud as it struck me, but I was also saying it to her, if you know what I mean.

Her Turn

It’s true, of course: true that I love her dearly and true that she’ll probably never know how much.

Her Turn

But maybe she will someday experience something like that when she’s a grandmother. Then, maybe it will dawn on her that someone may have felt the same way about her. And maybe that will warm her heart.

Her Turn

I can tell you this; it’s as if this kid grabbed me by the heartstrings as I rocked her in the middle of one night when she was only days old. I would have one-sided conversations with her and sing to her while her tiny head lay sleeping on my chest, just over my heart.

Her Turn

It’s hard to describe, but it’s as if she lay claim to my heart in those moments in the still of the night. It’s as if she said, “A big piece of that beating, pumping thing is mine, Buppa. Mine.”

Her Turn

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16 Responses to Treasure

  1. Lori says:

    This is the sweetest post ever. You hit it on the nail this love we have for our grandchildren…and yes hopefully one day when they are grandpa’s or grandma’s they will know just how much we loved them. My oldest granddaughter is 12 and she lives far away from me and has since she was 4 but we talk on the phone almost every day and we skype when we can. I see her once a year yet we are so close…I am sure her and her mom living with me for the first year of her life and spending a lot of time with her the first 4 years of her life helped us to become close..whatever it is she brings such joy to me.
    Thank you for sharing the love you have for her with us! She is adorable!

  2. Paul says:

    I receive emails from my daughter most of which are about her sons, their experiences and development. Her love for them comes through clearly in each email. She doesn’t know it but I save them and one day will edit them and print them as a book as gifts for her sons. I want them to know how diligently she tried as a single mom to care for them and love them.

    I’ll bet Nikki Dee knows how much you love her and will always remember.

  3. Kila says:

    Aww, what a touching post. You and Nikki Dee are two very blessed people! 🙂

    Love is what life is all about, I’ve been thinking lately.

    She can feel and see your love for her. She knows, as much as she is capable of.

  4. Ginger says:

    Being an Oma myself, I know exactly what you’re talking about. WONDERFUL last photo, AC!

  5. Mary says:

    What a beautiful tribute to little smudge. I’m sure she recognizes how much you love her and when she’s older and can come and read this blog it will be ever more apparent. She’s lucky to have a Buppa as awesome as you.

    Absolutely beautiful, AC.

    Your post warmed my heart. Love to you, Cuppa and the kiddies.

  6. Mary G says:

    Damn well said. And, looking at that last photo, I wondered how she would do as a gymanast. Gorgeous kid, buppa.

  7. Hilary says:

    That’s so sweet. I know I’ll feel that same way… someday.. I hope. 🙂

  8. Bernie says:

    Oh AC there is no way that beautiful child doesn’t know how much her grandfather loves her. In fact I bet she believes that is “what you do” love her and JJ. This is all that matters……:-) Hugs

  9. I can remember my Dad saying he loved me SO much at the age of 4…must be why I’ll Always be a Daddy’s Girl….
    She is so Beautiful Ac….

  10. AC, both these grandkids are reasurers at every age. Thanks for sharing a loving grandpa’s tribute and such great photos with all of us, including the grandparents!

  11. Ginnie says:

    The words are lovely, AC, but your actions have always shown her how much you love her and that’s one thing that children never forget. They are two very lucky little people !

  12. Ruth says:

    I was blessed to have a grandmother who loved me like that. And I certainly took it for granted at the time, but now I realize how much she invested into my life. Nikki Dee is very fortunate to have such a loving family and grandpa.

  13. Lorna says:

    You outrageous heart-string-puller!

  14. Linda Fraser says:

    I absolutely love the upside down picture at the end. She has her rainbow shirt on and the colours are so warm and beautiful. My granddaughter is going on three and she says, “I love you gamma, soooo much!” Then she says, “Where’s mommy?” I have very warm memories of my grandparents, at least the ones I’ve met. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and pics, Anvilcloud. Lovely!

  15. Melodee says:

    Your grandkids are so adorable and so lucky to have amazing grandparents like you and Cuppa!

  16. judy says:

    Soooo beautiful.
    She might not KNOW that she knows this, but that girl KNOWS she is loved. She radiates it!

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