I have recently been perusing old blog posts: very old posts. I have now been blogging for almost seven years, so I go back a long way.
Aside from reliving and enjoying many old memories, one thing in particular began to stand out to me. Back then, I posted semi-frequently about my mood. Well, maybe that’s overstating the frequency, but it happened often enough that I noticed when I was reviewing the past. In these later years, such posting seems to be no longer part of my repertoire.
So what was going on back then?
In my adult life, I have had issues with sleeping, so I resorted to sleeping pills and would take them every night when I had to work the next day and whenever I felt that I really required a good sleep.
I never knew how much they (the old pills) were adversely affecting me until one Christmas when I couldn’t seem to shake a black cloud that descended upon me. There seemed to be a significant correlation between my mood and the taking of those sleeping pills during that interval. When I discussed this with my new doctor, she prescribed a much “cleaner” pill. While it’s not as effective in getting me to sleep, it doesn’t seem to affect my mood the next day.
For me, and I suspect for most others, it’s not usual to notice the absence of something, and it wasn’t until I reread the old posts that the light fully dawned. Simply put: I don’t write posts like that because those black moods no longer seem to occur. I believe, strongly, that I can trace the change back to switching sleeping pills. At least that cause-effect explanation works for me.
I am by nature the type of guy who doesn’t climb too high or descend too low, seeming to exist on a fairly even keel of contented equanimity. Obviously, like everybody else I experience fluctuations, but my highs aren’t manic, and, except for that long past Christmas, I can’t seem remember when I last experienced a black mood. Never mind black: I hardly even get around to singing the blues anymore.
There is no lesson here. This is just a sort of autobiographical post for the record. Because that’s what a typical blog is: a record. It’s my considered opinion 🙂 that we bloggers owe it to ourselves to excavate our old posts every now and then, for they just might reveal surprising insights about ourselves and our lives.
And even if they don’t lead to Aha! moments, they can still be evocative of past times and good memories.